


The Canary

by ScrewzLooze



Category: GOT7
Genre: Assassin Jaebum, Blindfolds, First Time, Light Mentions of Past Abuse, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, virgin jinyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 15:24:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11739840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrewzLooze/pseuds/ScrewzLooze
Summary: Jaebum is an assassin-for-hire, unlike any kind. He kills slowly, starting from the inside - reserved and intelligent, he easily finds his way under people’s skin. Highly observant and analytical, he’s a true gem of his profession.In early June, Jaebum is hired to kill Jinyoung, the only witness to a burglary case where identifying the robber is essential to prove the defendant’s guilt with all other evidence being too ambiguous. The burglar’s family hires Jaebum to get rid of Jinyoung so their son’s record stays clean and they needed someone who would leave no trails behind.Jaebum has to become everything Jinyoung ever wanted and poison him one day at a time. His deadline is mid-August. He starts losing ground by the end of July, leading him down a rabbit hole through his past.





	The Canary

**Author's Note:**

> This piece haunted me until I wrote a rough draft down. I had other stories to get started on, but for some reason, I kept circling back to this idea before I could clear my head and start working on those. This time, I experimented with writing a longer story and more background building. I hope despite the length, you will enjoy it!  
> My usual disclaimer: I apologize in advance if there is any inconsistency or error that proofreading didn’t touch upon, considering that English is not my native language. All rights go to all the people for all the things I don't own for this piece of sin. You see the tags, something is not up your alley, save yourself in time.

Jaebum was strolling through the busy streets, wearing a pair of sunglasses, his thumbs loosely hanging out from the pockets of his jeans. He brushed past people hunching forward as they walked, holding their phones tightly over their ears, yelling at the device early in the morning. But even by now, some people already had their morning coffee spilled on their wrinkled shirts, cursing as they moved to the edges of the sidewalk, letting way of the ever-flowing crowd in a hasty rush, trying to make it to work on time. The noise of the city engulfed even the loudest thoughts, with the traffic leading to a long line of cars honking without a second thought at the person in front of them, just as stuck, proving time and time again that traffic brings the worst out of everyone.

He was on his way to an office like any other from a quick outside glance, located at the end of the block. Once by the entry, he pushed the steel door open, finding the room illuminated in dimming blue lights.

It was good to step inside, the cold air blasting from the AC cooling Jaebum down after all that walk in the sunny and humid weather. There was a woman waiting for him, with a thin, dark brown envelope facing her, lying in the middle of the table close to the left corner of the room. She stood up from her chair to shake hands with Jaebum, and after a brief handshake, she motioned for him to take a seat in the chair across from her.

“You are very punctual. Not even a second late.”

Jaebum hummed in acknowledgment, deeming her comment unnecessary. _Of course_ he was punctual, an assassin can’t be careless. But thankfully, she cut the discussion short; Jaebum also hated small-talks.

The woman took out a remote, pushing a combination of buttons, before Jaebum could hear at least a dozen locks shutting close at the same time. There was also instantaneously less natural light in the room, which meant that the same combination must also have rolled the blinds over the windows, allowing no passerby to see inside.

“This is an actual office. People could come in from opening time. I just like to be cautious.” The woman explained, reaching for the folder to tear open at the top.

She carefully revealed a couple of large photographs and typed notes, putting each one out on the table one by one, turning them toward Jaebum like cards. While Jaebum was looking over them, she handed him a bound set of notes.

“His name is Jinyoung Park. He is your job for the next few months. I chose you because I’m not interested in facing the court a week from now with the news that someone slit the kid’s throat open. Wouldn’t that be the funniest coincidence? Obviously, I don’t want the court to suspect anything. His death would be suspicious even if he were to actually die without our intervention.”

Jaebum nodded, his eyes glued onto the pictures as he raced through them. His mind was picking on the smallest details, such as which way Jinyoung looked more often, his choices of style and color, the position of each mole on his face, which leg he moved first, how he held his hands when he was not doing anything.

“I chose you because I know you will make it appear as natural as possible.”

It was not Jaebum’s place to judge but the boy presented to be _particularly_ harmless. Every detail about him screamed cautiousness and self-awareness. The worst Jinyoung could ever do seemed like a prank gone wrong on a friend. Maybe breaking someone’s heart.

“He is in his last year of college. He’s studying a combined degree in Acting and Psychology, with a concentration in Child Psychology. He plays the piano in his free time. The kid is very consistent and has a set schedule for almost each day. I’m basically giving you free money by hiring you on this one.”

“This is not the kind of job I usually take.” Jaebum stated curtly, speaking for the first time that morning, his voice low and croaky from lack of use compared to the woman’s honeyed tone.

“I know what kind of jobs you take. And I don’t care. I want the best for me.” She smiled smugly, crossing her legs under the table.

Jaebum stared at her with a deadpan expression,

“The price – “

“The price, Im. I’ll pay you twice as much for half the work. You can’t say no to an offer like this.”

He really couldn’t.

“I would sell my soul for my son’s innocence. I’m not here to play around. Are you going to take the offer…or not?”

Jaebum switched his gaze back to the pictures instead,

“He’s alone on all of these. Like this one, he’s just standing under the tree reading. Or where he’s sitting alone in the coffee shop. I need pictures of his friends and people in close proximity to him.”

The woman smirked at Jaebum accepting the offer, ironically making her appear exhausted and much older than she probably was, face too tightly filled up with Botox injections to show any wrinkles.

“I wouldn’t worry about that. I see him spending time by himself at quiet places almost all of the time. However, he loves being around kids and the handful of best friends he has. Look at this picture for instance,” She said, reaching for the picture on the right, sneaking it into Jaebum’s hand, “He volunteers at a daycare center on the weekends. Those kids hanging on his legs and shoulders should not be of concern to you.”

Then the room fell into silence, with Jaebum intently examining the contents of the folder and the woman curiously observing him.

The assassin already had features with sharp creases and angles, through his defined jawline and Cupid’s bow. The corners of his eyes turned upward in a sudden cut, giving his eyes a piercing edge. Yet even the way he looked at things had that blade to it, such as how he placed back the photographs from his hands onto the table, every move being surgically precise; you would never be able to tell that someone touched those photographs. His movements were like that of a ghost, leaving people in cold sweat and body stiff from caution.

It only made the wait harder for his clients, leaving them with a strong first impression each time, setting the bar high for expectations. Not surprisingly, after a short while, the woman started to fidget around in her seat, impatience and enthusiasm evident in her voice as she nagged Jaebum,

“So? Do you have a plan in mind?”

Jaebum grinned because he knew this was one of his clients’ favorite parts. He found it grotesque how much interest certain people had in death, some hirers even having the face to call him in the middle of the night, asking Jaebum to describe the murder in detail. The smallest things tipped them off the edge, like when Jaebum told them how clueless the victims were about him following them home.

No matter how disgusting the job could get at times, including both the hiring agents and victims, Jaebum just had to think back to the words of wisdom his best friend used to say while he worked as a hacker for a phone company that sold their customers’ data to dubious third parties,

_“Do you ever feel guilty? Ever wondered if what you’re doing is right?”_

_“I don’t know if it’s wrong or right. That’s not what I’m here for. Do you, Jaebum?”_

_“Not anymore.”_

“Nothing’s set in stone yet,” Jaebum replied, “But every time I look at him, because of his pale skin, dark hair, round nose and eyes…he reminds me of Snow White.” He chuckled at the inappropriateness of bringing up a fairy tale princess while discussing murder, “Especially on the picture you pointed to, with that red bow the kids put in his hair.”

He continued to smile while tearing his gaze away from the picture, glancing up at the woman.

“That is lovely. Will you poison him with an apple?” She asked, leaning closer to Jaebum onto the table, their noses almost touching. Her gaze was blunt, clouded by years of dread and immorality, especially under these artificial lights, which showed little mercy to how unnatural her own face was in comparison, possibly having undergone more plastic surgeries than she could remember. Jaebum shrugged down the fright in his throat at the thought of it, answering in the sweetest voice he could muster,

“Yes. _Dipped in caramel_.”

The woman gasped, a roguish smile pulling on her rough features.

They both knew why; the poison will be mixed in the caramel.

“Excellent.” She whispered sultrily, over-joyed at Jaebum’s logic, because the court would laugh its butt off if someone accused her of killing Jinyoung with apples. After all, Jaebum got famous for how naturally he kills, having acquired that raw talent to pick up on the smallest habits of his victims, finding plausible ways to make every death seem like it was a long time coming.

“But how will you get him to eat it? The private investigator didn’t have much on his dietary preferences.”

“You mentioned he likes spending time with kids. Where there are kids, there’s candy. I just have to coax him to buy candy for himself, too. But these details…and the rest, you just have to trust them on me. I know what I’m doing.” Jaebum asserted, gaze unfaltering as he pushed his chair back, proceeding to stand up and pack everything away.

The woman’s smile faded, although a permanent scowl lingered on her face, as she reached for the remote.

“You better. It’s opening time.”

@@@

Jaebum read through the notes and spent the rest of the day tracking Jinyoung down. Despite the summer vacation offered, the boy still signed up for a class, trying to keep himself busy and productive. According to the notes, after finishing his class, he liked to stick around in the library, reading a book or working on his laptop before heading for the train.

Jaebum had no problem sneaking into the building, his grey blazer easily helping him pass as an adjunct faculty member and by using an electronic card that tricked the entrance gates into opening.

He patrolled around the library, carefully observing without being noticed. He watched Jinyoung pull out a book from the Psychology section and show it to the security, so he can read it at the tables nearby without having to take it home.

It wasn’t anything special, until Jaebum saw Jinyoung sneak the book inside his book bag and replace it with what looked like a romance novel; two men hugging on the cover under a starry night. Jaebum had to smirk at that - it seemed like Jinyoung was very self-conscious about what people thought of him. He rather went through all the hustle of picking a book and pretending to read that, hidden on the upper floor of his school’s library, rather than simply read whatever book he wanted on his way home while riding the train. He also appeared very eager flipping through the pages, already being more than halfway through the novel, clearly expressing an avid investment in the piece beyond just curious experimenting.

Within an hour or so, Jinyoung finished reading and switched back the books; putting the Psychology one on the shelf and walking to the train station.  Once the train arrived and Jinyoung sat down, Jaebum stood a little further to his side so it seemed like he was just looking through the windows behind the long row of passengers while actually keeping Jinyoung in sight.

After a while, he noticed Jinyoung staring at an older guy in front of him, moving his shy gaze back and forth, trying not to be caught or seem obvious. The man appeared to be in his mid-30’s, hair slicked back, with warm brown eyes, a lean but muscular figure showing through a neatly ironed dress shirt. He had a tasteful style, probably a white-collar worker. Jinyoung’s cheeks were tinted in a boyish, peachy blush as he stole glances at the man, fidgeting softly with the zippers on his book bag. As if the man felt someone staring at him, he looked up from his phone, catching Jinyoung’s eyes on him. Jaebum wasn’t sure if the man was friendly in general, or flirty, but he most certainly grinned at Jinyoung with something wicked in the curve of his lips. Jinyoung’s own parted and his chest rose up high, taking an unusually deep breath like he had been under the water all this time, biting on his lower lip and boring his gaze onto the floor. He did not look up from the floor for the rest of the ride, the blush never leaving his cheeks.  


Jaebum temporarily rented an apartment a couple streets away from where Jinyoung lived, alone on one of the top floors of a skyscraper. Finances didn’t seem to be a problem for Jinyoung’s family, the apartment prices being especially high in that part of the city. At least it was a good neighborhood - after being through multiple missions in war-torn and gang violence ridden places, Jaebum finally started to see the perks of accepting this offer.

Before Jaebum went to sleep, he took a walk outside, shopping a few essential items for the mission. He tried to imitate the man’s style from the train, as Jinyoung was clearly into a neat, gentleman look. He wasn’t surprised at that, because Jinyoung seemed to be a caretaker who often got neglected himself. The people who take care of others the most are often the least taken care of in return, so Jinyoung was potentially seeking a partner who could fulfill that need.

A gentleman who would put him first.

Who would be encouraging and help him get out of his shell. Who would have no problem taking his hand, walking silently beside him without too much talking, be proud of being with him, notice the beauty in the small things Jinyoung does, like when he wears something because his partner would like it, or when he is able to flaunt his knowledge. Someone who can make him laugh, asking him not to cover his smile like he often does. A man with enough confidence and love in him to share.  
A person who can teach him things while making Jinyoung feel intelligent and special.  
Someone who can appreciate Jinyoung’s sense of humor and go along with it; have a playful edge to him, a little laid-back, someone who can make Jinyoung melt into his embrace. Let Jinyoung tease him but know how to tease him back. Reserved and polite on the outside but passionate on the inside.  


A gentleman - Jaebum had no problem being.

He also called a bookstore that had a 24/7 available customer service, trying to figure out what book Jinyoung was reading in the library. They gave him a list that fit the description, and Jaebum spent most of the night researching them. From remembering Jinyoung’s engaged expression while reading the romance novel, he knew it was something that really spoke to him. If he was to wrap Jinyoung around his finger, he needed to understand what things catch Jinyoung’s attention, including books they could discuss together.

He got started on the larger pieces of his plan the next day, such as renting a transportable cooking-cart where he could make the apples fresh and roll it front of the daycare. He went around some schools and kindergartens, giving out actual caramel apples to the kids for free, practicing what tone of voice and gestures made them most comfortable around him. He needed them to trust him as much as he needed Jinyoung’s trust, because if the kids liked him, chances were, it scored essential points in his plan to seduce Jinyoung.

It didn’t take long for him to figure out what worked and what didn’t – despite appearing intimidating at first, kids loved when he made faces, and it turned out, he was really good at grimacing. His dorky smile was an all-star among them. They loved Jaebum wiping the caramel off of their face and fingers, with how careful and gentle he was. All he asked in return was to let him take a couple of pictures, for the purposes of building his fake portfolio. His plan was to tell Jinyoung he does this for a “community project”, and he needed evidence that he had been doing it for a while. He bought a cheap binder at his local 99 cent store and organized all the photographs in it – pictures of him with kids hanging on his arms, kids standing in a long line in front of his cart, reaching their hands out for the apples, even some pictures of the security guards eating an apple themselves. It was all coming together perfectly – from the setting, it was hard to tell the season, even harder to tell the year or precise location, so he will be able to lie about when and where they were taken.

For the next day, which was the official starting day of his mission, he packed the cooking cart with countless colorful apples behind a glass case - all the greens, reds, and yellows showing through, giving the cart an inviting and cheerful character.

He put a large bin of melted caramel on the counter over a vapor of hot water boiling underneath, and one much smaller bin with the caramel that had his poison mixed in it. He pre-made some regular caramel apples so they had time to cool off, piercing through them with craft sticks colored in white. To differentiate at all times which apple had the poison on it, he made sure to stick Jinyoung’s on a black craft stick, as well as make it fresh so he can carve a heart on top of it. It was a suggestive, flirtatious move, while being useful in further differentiating the apples.

In the morning, he took a long, cold shower. It’s been years since he showered with warm water, never allowing himself to get comfortable in vulnerable positions and moments.

The apartment felt luxurious - with multiple settings on the showerhead, a bouncy, silky mattress on a California king sized bed, a fridge with enough space to stack up on food for a lifetime. He wasn’t used to the fanciness and glamour of it, finding the showerhead unnecessarily extra, the bed ridiculously big, the fridge too bulky. He already wanted to get this mission off his list.

The assassin dried his body with a towel, then got dressed, putting on the pants he bought at the store the day before, as well as a striped blouse, leaving the first two buttons open on the front. He slicked his hair to the sides, kept it voluminous and beachy, showing most of his forehead. He knew he needed a friendly mien for the kids, which he achieved by putting on socks with The Simpson’s characters on it. He knew both the children and Jinyoung would appreciate it, making it seem like he had a cool touch to his personality, someone laid-back and fun while also being reliable. A lot like what Jaebum profiled Jinyoung’s romantic interest to be.

The weather outside was pleasantly warm that morning, and Jaebum let the lukewarm summer breeze caress his exposed skin through the open shirt, before connecting the beginning of the cart to the back of his car, which he rented for the next two months, driving it to the location of the daycare Jinyoung was volunteering at. He parked a street down, walking the rest of the way, rolling his portable cooking station in front of him. He stretched the muscles on his face in the meantime, knowing he will have to smile a lot more than he usually does, or was comfortable with.

As the private investigator noted in the documents, it was 9:30AM, the time when the kids were let out to play after breakfast. Jinyoung was outside to supervise them, sitting in one of the swings, three kids trying to push him from the back to set him in motion. Jinyoung held onto the chain that pulled the plastic bottom of the swing up, using his tiptoes poking through his sandals to help the kids along. Some kids were doodling on the concrete with crayons and chalk, tugging on the hem of Jinyoung’s shirt to get him to come and see what they drew for him.

It only took a minute for Jaebum to see how much kids loved Jinyoung; some of them sweetly, some of them throwing grass at him, a little though love, annoying him, but Jinyoung handled it well, knowing which kids he could tease back and which ones he had to pout at, melting their heart until they jumped into his lap and apologized on their own. Soon, one of the kids noticed Jaebum’s cart and pointed toward it, climbing into Jinyoung’s lap,

“Candy! Can I get candy?” Jinyoung squeezed his eyes together to see the cart more clearly.

“Considering it’s mostly fruit, I don’t think that will be a problem.” He decided, gently taking the child off of his lap and standing up to speak to the rest of the kids,

“Who else would like to get apples covered in candy?”

It started a riot. Hardly any of the kids said no, so Jinyoung sighed, looking up to the skies, shaking his head, with a small smile playing on his lips. He adored working with kids. When will he ever be this excited to eat candy?

Like a duck and his baby ducklings, Jinyoung walked up to Jaebum’s cart with the kids following closely behind, holding hands so “no one gets lost”. Jaebum put on an attractive smile, his teeth showing, turning his eyes into a crescent moon shape, complementing his sharp features well. Jinyoung’s eyes widened a little, not noticeably for anyone who isn’t keen on details, but Jaebum was, and he knew Jinyoung found his smile charming. This was further confirmed by Jinyoung blushing when Jaebum offered him a caramel apple for free, with a heart drawn on it to indicate it was poisoned.

“Special offer for a special teacher.” All the kids yelled in agreement,

“Yes! Mr. Park is the best! Accept it, Mr. Park!” Jinyoung hesitated, not wanting to take anything for free. Jaebum insisted, turning the apple around with his fingers on the tip of the stick, hypnotizing Jinyoung.

“You heard the minions.”

It also didn’t help that Jinyoung overslept that morning, rushing to the daycare without having any breakfast. Listening to the munching of the kids sinking their teeth into the fresh apple was further convincing him to give in. But the last straw was how Jaebum was staring at him with his head tilted somewhat to the side, with something shining in them that kept Jinyoung eagerly on his toes without wanting to.

He reluctantly agreed, walking back with the kids to the playground.  


The fact of life is that you can’t eat caramel apples gracefully. It’s sticky all around, gets everywhere, and Jinyoung’s lips and its edges started to get messy. Jaebum began to feel a little lightheaded, shifting on his legs, from seeing Jinyoung strategically kitten-lick the burnt sugar, his warm lips on a hot summer day melting and drowning in the caramel. Especially seeing him twist the apple, find with his lips the heart under them that Jaebum carved into the coating, the reminder of the bitter poison in that sweet caramel, watching Jinyoung suck it away until the bright green skin of the apple was exposed.

Even after he finished the bite, his lips remained glossy from the sugar and as he spoke to the kids, Jaebum could see his upper lip stick to the bottom one occasionally. He patiently waited until Jinyoung’s tongue finally darted out and lick around his mouth to ease the stickiness, followed by his thumb brushing over his plump lips.

The first few dosage of the poison will hardly be noticeable from the outside. Jinyoung would start feeling a little dizzy around nighttime, and have a general loss of appetite, which only served Jaebum better, because the less nutrition in Jinyoung’s system, the faster the poison spread. But for now, Jinyoung looked as good as new, playing sword fighting with the kids using the craft sticks the apples were pierced onto.

The assassin left the place soon afterwards, but he could sense eyes following his every move until he passed the fences of the building, knowing well that Jinyoung was watching and checking him out.

Jaebum felt just like the cat, who finally caught the canary from its cage, getting away with it but hardly being able to contain its pride. With that coquettish smile, Jaebum prepared the poison for next week, keeping up his observations in the meantime.

@@@

The next step was to observe Jinyoung while he was at home.

During his years of living on the streets, a homeless man Jaebum often shared shelter with once asked him over a tiny portion of bread with the fire crackling before them, late into the night,

_“I wish I knew who you really are, Jaebum.”_

_“But you do know? We’ve been meeting up here for months.”_

_“Well, I know who you are when you are_ with me _.”_

_“I’m the same with everyone.”_

_“I highly doubt. Everyone has three faces they wear; one they show to the world. One to family, friends, and acquaintances. And the third and truest face - to no one else. The one you never show to anyone is supposedly the closest reflection of who you are.”_

_“It doesn’t make a difference to me, I’m nobody either way. You are not missing out.”_

Particularly with Jinyoung, Jaebum had to see all three. The boy often, in subtle ways, tried to manipulate how people perceived him, hence the book incident. Even with the colors he regularly wore, mostly neutral, and pattern-less designs, Jinyoung strived to appear sophisticated and intelligent, to create the impression of being put together.

These were not surprising, considering his upbringing and schooling. But what Jaebum needed to know was who Jinyoung is with no one around to judge.

So Jaebum snuck into Jinyoung’s house one afternoon using the same electronic key card he used at the university entrance, finding Jinyoung napping on the couch peacefully. He took advantage of this opportunity to look around the place and take further notes.

Right off the bat, as responsible as Jinyoung was, he also wasn’t an angel, with quite a few unwashed dishes standing in the sink. Jaebum took note of that, making sure he will be that gentleman in the morning to wash the dishes after brining Jinyoung breakfast, sweeping him off of his feet. He took note of what was in his fridge, and there were a lot of vegetables and meats, so Jaebum made sure he would cook accordingly or take Jinyoung to a place where they were known for their meaty dishes. Everything said something, from the spices Jinyoung owned in the kitchen, all the flour and baking powder he had stored up, to his bedroom walls, one entirely covered in a single mirror panel. It didn’t shock Jaebum, as that came to show Jinyoung’s self-doubt and self-consciousness even more, as well as that little bit of vanity he was trying to conceal under an effortless look. This meant to Jaebum that even when Jinyoung would downplay his complements, they still meant the world to him, although he would try not to show it.

And if Jaebum was right, which he was, then Jinyoung would hide things under his bed that he didn’t want anyone to find. Jinyoung was intriguing, with the diverse music taste Jaebum noted from Jinyoung’s CD collection and after he looked through his MP3 player left on the floor. All the hiking and fishing equipment he found in his closet hinted toward an exploring and daring personality. But some things just won’t shock an assassin anymore.

Surely, Jaebum found a box, expecting to find weapons, drugs, fake documentations, even a body part, things he had seen other victims hide before, and he was ready for the worst. There was no way Jinyoung was all that innocent. He had to be hired on this case for a reason.

But to his disappointment, it was just filled with regular sex toys.

He let out a tired sigh, placing the shoebox back and continuing on his quest.

Jaebum’s mind was like a supercomputer, silently filing everything away for later use. In case the mission had to be sped up, he needed to know his victim enough to find effective alternatives to the apple method. However, Jinyoung really reminded him of Snow White from certain angles, with that perky, round nose, puffy eyes, full lips, and the black hair with the bluish tint. His skin almost as white, but never sickish pale. Soon it would be.

That resemblance was evident even more so now, as Jaebum walked back to the living room where he watched Jinyoung sleep, in absolutely nothing but an oversized red T-shirt and _maybe_ some underwear concealed underneath. One of his legs was splayed over a pillow, revealing the smooth skin of his toned, lean thighs.

Jaebum tip-toed around the couch, every move and turn soundless, his feet fast, all those years behind him reflected in his expert movements. Once in front of Jinyoung, he bent over slightly, observing his features in more detail. The boy’s arms were held close to his chest, lashes fluttering against his puffy cheeks every now and then. His face was tranquil and angelic as he dreamt, definitely a view Jaebum wasn’t used to seeing, after spending all those years surrounded by destruction and sleeping with the devils. The slow ticking of the clock and Jinyoung’s even breathing brought an unfamiliar peace of mind to Jaebum, the voices in his head shut silent.

Jinyoung smelled like fruits much to Jaebum’s delight. He almost felt like he could just curl up next to Jinyoung, poking his nose against the nape of the boy’s neck, breathing in the shampoo in his hair and the scent of his skin. He was used to people with spicy, earthy, and overpowering scents, everyone trying to make a statement. But Jinyoung was subtle and fresh, leaving an uneasy feeling hanging in Jaebum’s heart. He was expecting to find dirt on Jinyoung’s hands, expecting to see the worst when he was spotted on his own, but Jaebum didn’t find a single flaw worth punctuating on.

With this feeling in his heart, on his way driving home, Jaebum found himself thinking. He was used to jobs where neither the person hiring him, nor the victim, was innocent. Everyone’s hands were soiled in the game. Those were not people hiding their secrets in shoeboxes under their beds. They had too many and too big, full monsters that no closet could contain. But Jinyoung was just a college boy, a very well-behaved one and hard-working, at that. Jaebum saw his transcript in the files, showing what a studious and eager student Jinyoung was, always wanting to please his professors. Never caused trouble, not a single suspension on his record. He hardly even had any bad habits – Jaebum found no traces of any addictions. He was as clean as whistle. Not even the things he was hiding were things worth securing with a password.

But an assassin is not to make moral judgements. He is only an instrument, doing his job and getting paid.

_“I don’t know if it’s wrong or right. That’s not what I’m here for.”_

Jaebum was not here to shoot himself in the leg, sabotaging his own mission through questioning the motives. The homeless man might have been right though – perhaps it was time to put on a mask. Jaebum can’t lose focus of who he is around others when he was left to his own thoughts. He always had to be somebody else.

@@@

When the next weekend rolled around, Jaebum repeated his process from last week. This time, Jinyoung invited him to the playground, asking him to “not just stand there all alone without having any fun”. Jaebum seized the opportunity to weave Jinyoung more into his web, taking steady steps toward him, making sure Jinyoung had time to observe his physique. He knew he was Jinyoung’s type, with his thick, muscular legs, broad shoulders, and a captivating smile.

He sat in the other swing beside Jinyoung, the kids gathering around with their apples, asking questions, like what his name was and why he sells apples. He showed them the pictures in his folder, introducing the whole “community project” story which he already rehearsed in his head numerous times, mastering it until it sounded genuine and enthusiastic throughout.

“Mr. Jaebum, thank you so much for the free apples!” One of the kids said, and Jaebum found himself caught off guard, getting a little shy all of a sudden, trying to ease the feeling away with scratching the back of his neck and smiling awkwardly.

He wasn’t used to people thanking him for anything. Money spoke.

“Well…thank you, it’s really not a big deal. Also, only you guys, but you can call me JB.”

The kids, in union, let out a surprised gasp, never meeting an adult before who let them address him informally.

They instantly fell for it.

“JB! JB is the best!”

Jaebum laughed, burring his face into his palms, and the kids cooed. Jinyoung watched, not noticing the smile rising to his own lips, at the sight of Jaebum all fluttered from the kids complementing him.

 “Yes, JB! We are bored, tell us a story!” One of the kids exclaimed and there was no turning back. If the kids wanted to have story-time, then Jaebum had to give them story-time, although Jinyoung tried to hush them with a pointed look in their direction,

“We shouldn’t bother JB with this, he might have places to go to.”

“I do. But I love spending time with kids,” Jaebum bluffed, loving that sparkle it ignited in Jinyoung’s eyes, “I _must_ deliver them a story.”

“Ohh, you sound like a knight!” Yelled one of the kids with an orange bowl-cut.

“Then shall I tell the story of how knight JB saved the winter prince?”

“The winter prince?” They asked. Jaebum glanced at Jinyoung, not taking his eyes off of him as he spoke,

“Yes. The _beautiful_ , _intelligent_ winter prince who was kidnapped by a selfish dragon who wanted to keep him closed in his snow globe.”

“Why is he called the winter prince?”

“Well…he had skin as bright and flawless as fresh snow and his cheeks were pinched red as if he played outside in the cold for too long. He had dark, icy hair, and he guarded the seasons of the year, mainly the winter.”

Jinyoung blushed and looked away, fluttered at the thought of Jaebum referring to him as the winter prince. _Beautiful and intelligent…_ Especially the way Jaebum looked into his eyes while saying that, with that cheeky grin on his face. It all made Jinyoung fidget in his seat and hold onto the sides of the swing tighter, nails digging into the plastic seat.

Jinyoung’s reaction didn’t escape Jaebum, and he couldn’t help that cattish grin rise to his lips again, loving how easy it was to make Jinyoung uncomfortable. He had to admit, this might become one of his favorite missions after all.

So he began the story, the kids leaning all over each other to hear Jaebum better, being the most expressive and sincere audience Jaebum had ever spoken to. He let Jinyoung observe him, and knew which angles to turn to, how to move his hands, what tone to speak to the kids with, to maximize this opportunity.  He also knew the power of suspense, so just before he could tell whether knight JB’s sword truly pierced through the dragon’s heart, he went silent, faking an exaggerated, disappointed sound,

“Ah! But we will have to wait and see if knight JB successfully saves the winter prince next time. I really have to leave now.” He said, feeling a little soft from all the pouty faces in front of him, asking him to stay.

Jinyoung had a hard time disagreeing with the kids and being the adult in the moment, but he cleared his throat and let the kids say goodbye to Jaebum.

“And, knight JB, you will be back next week as well, right?” Jinyoung asked, voice composed but _hopeful_ , as he stood by the opening gates, leaning against the fence, watching Jaebum pack his things away in the apple cart.

“Of course. A knight always keeps his word. Besides, I have to save you, because without you, there will be no seasons, and the kids really want to have winter.” He winked, confirming Jinyoung’s suspicion that Jaebum indeed meant him by the winter prince.

He smiled, pearly and sheepish, casting his eyes onto the ground while biting on his bottom lip softly, before looking back at Jaebum. Jaebum stopped in his movements for just a second, from the feeling of his heartbeat increasing all of a sudden.

He pushed the feeling and this image of Jinyoung aside into the back of his head, getting right back to where he left off with packing as if nothing happened.

Jinyoung stayed around for a little longer, watching Jaebum make a turn and, with that, disappear into the horizon.

“I see you’ve got a candy man delivering for you?” One of Jinyoung’s coworkers stepped out from behind the gates, measuring up Jinyoung with a grin. “Candy man by morning, knight by night, saving the seasons?”

“Shut up Youngjae.” Jinyoung pushed on his coworker’s shoulder playfully, making him stumble and laugh, the sound bubbly, easily blending him in with the kids around them.

@@@

The next weekend rolled around, and so did Jaebum with his apple cart.

“JB is here!” One of the kids yelled, making all the others drop their marbles and crayons to run toward the swing sets, expecting Jaebum to finish the story of the winter prince.

Everyone settled down, chewing on their apples, Jaebum taking his place in the swing beside Jinyoung’s like last time. One of the kids climbed into Jaebum’s lap, drinking raspberry juice from a cup. He giggled, wanting to hug Jaebum, but the cup, larger compared to his small hands, accidentally slipped out, spilling its content all over Jaebum’s white blouse.

Jinyoung gulped, throwing his apple onto the ground, standing up to somehow try and help on the situation. The kid fearfully pulled his hands firmly to his chest but Jaebum just smiled tenderly, bending down to take the child’s hands away from his chest, holding him close for a quick, warm hug.

“Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong. I love raspberries anyway.” He sounded so honest, it made Jinyoung pause in his movements, almost questioning whether Jaebum _actually_ liked raspberries enough to have them spilled on his shirt. The kid smiled bashfully, furrowing his head in Jaebum’s chest, apologizing a million times.

Jinyoung watched, his heart flipping in a somersault at the scene of Jaebum softly rocking in the swing, comforting the boy. His arms wrapped around the child’s small frame protectively, making Jinyoung’s heart open wide like a coffer full of treasures; gold and silver, diamonds and rubies, on full display. Everything he could possibly offer, opened up for Jaebum.

“It will all be fine. Let me just quickly get cleaned up and I’ll be back to finish the story of the winter prince, as I’m sure that’s the only reason why you all love me.” He chuckled, making the kids scream in protest,

“No! We love you for the apples, too!”

“The candy, JB, the candy!”

 _Of course_. Jaebum smiled to himself, carefully putting down the boy from his lap before asking Jinyoung for directions to the bathroom.

“The one with the mosaic paintings all over the windows.” Jinyoung pointed east, watching Jaebum heroically jog in that direction while Jinyoung went the other way, trying to find something Jaebum could put on instead of the stained shirt.

“Congratulations, BamBam. You just had to be such a loser to pour JB with your stupid drink.” One of the kids said, fearless with no adults around.

“But did you guys see how Mr. Park looked at him? Did you, guys?!” One of the other kids whispered, excitedly picking on the pebbles under him.

“I’ll tell you what I think.” The kid with the orange bowl-cut stood up from the middle, “I think, that the prince in JB’s story is actually Mr. Park.”

“No way!” BamBam replied, shocked, before raising his index finger to his lips, thinking.

“But if that’s the case, which, you know…could be possible, then…who is the dragon?”

 

Once Jinyoung found a shirt that would fit Jaebum, he ran back to the playground, cutting short to the bathroom. As soon as he entered, his lips parted in a quiet gasp, hands reaching up to cover his mouth at the sight before him.

He didn’t want to come in exactly when Jaebum was taking his shirt off but couldn’t help his eyes lingering a little longer on the man’s toned frame. Especially his back, as it looked like he had a fair share of lifting heavy weights frequently. Every muscle seemed full and well-defined, something that is built over years of work. They were protruding and inviting, making Jinyoung want to feel them for himself with the pads of his fingers.

The light that soaked through the mosaic paintings on the windows, which the kids made as an arts project years ago, now colored Jaebum’s body in royal blue and bright yellow, the sky and sunshine dancing on his body. The lines of lively green grass trailed down his lower back, small red dots representing ladybugs finding their way on his shoulders and face that was slowly turning toward Jinyoung.

Jinyoung felt heat rise to his cheeks as he looked to the side, embarrassed that Jaebum caught him staring for so long. He blushed even harder when he heard Jaebum’s footsteps approaching, the man standing before him without a shirt, muted pink and orange for the colors of the sunset on the next window frame now illuminating his skin even better. His dark, umber eyes turned a warm cinnamon shade from the lights, tiny beetles that flew across the acrylic panels making it seem like he had freckles. Jinyoung swallowed hard, raising his wobbling arms to offer the man a shirt he found in their storage closet.

“I-I’m sorry that your blouse is ruined. Please accept this T-shirt so you don’t have to go home looking like you murdered someone.” He tried to crack up a smile but it was hard with Jaebum’s hands brushing over his fingers as he took the shirt from his trembling hands.

“Thank you, my prince.” He winked, raising his arms to put on the shirt.

From this close, while Jaebum was busy, Jinyoung took a better look at his body and saw faded but still visible scars. They must have been very deep and painful while they were new, the scar tissue over them thick and rigid. Some of those wounds even looked like they were shewed shut multiple times by inexperienced hands, not healing properly, with many stitches bearing over some of the larger welts.

As Jaebum was pulling down his shirt to cover everything, he noticed Jinyoung’s focused expression, his eyebrows knit together in concern. Jaebum didn’t notice himself smiling at that, as it rose to his lips so naturally. But as if he could read Jinyoung’s thoughts, he said softly into the tensed silence,

“I used to do competitive sports when I was younger. It can really rip your body for a lifetime.”

Jinyoung looked up from Jaebum’s chest, his cheeks and the bridge of his nose still tinted from seeing Jaebum half-naked just seconds ago. He cleared his throat, asking solicitously,

“Do they still hurt?”

“Not at all.” He assured Jinyoung, grabbing his stained blouse from the sink and walking out of the bathroom.

But needless to say, he never did competitive sports when he was younger. He spent his childhood surviving. Jinyoung would never know, he grew up in a loving household.  


_“Why haven’t you told anyone, Jaebum?” The social worker asked, hunched over in his seat toward Jaebum so they were closer._

_“Why did you suffer this long? So silently…?”_

_Jaebum almost teared up from hearing those words but he already cried so much, it felt like he had long exhausted his tears for a lifetime._

_“These wounds on your body must have hurt. I just…can’t seem to understand how you hid all this from us. For all these months! Years, even?” He exclaimed, wanting to throw his hands up in frustration. Jaebum’s silence and blank expression broke his heart. “You did not deserve to be treated like this.”_

_It was quiet again, the sparse chirping of the birds outside the only sound remaining. He cautiously raised his hand, placing it on Jaebum’s shoulder. Jaebum flinched, not welcoming the touch. The social worker furrowed his eyebrows, feeling upset and helpless._

_“You know Jaebum, I became a social worker to help children and their families cope with emotional trauma. I wanted to save good kids like you from going down the wrong path. But I’ve only recently been realizing that by the time people like you arrive to me, the damage is…”_ Irreversible _, he almost said, before catching himself, “…so severe.”_

_“I don’t need your pity.” Jaebum spat, frustrated that he has to sit through an hour of this every week until the official funeral of his parents ends._

_“I don’t pity you. I think you are stronger now…than I will ever be.” He admitted, letting his hand fall off of Jaebum’s shoulder to reach for his notes. Jaebum watched every movement, his eyes following the flow of his pen, trying to make out what words he was dotting down._

_“At least it’s almost over now.” He sighed, leaning back in his chair, his hands covering his face. His breath was shaky, his posture bent. He could hear the brush of the social worker’s hand against the paper as his writing sped up, furiously taking notes of Jaebum’s every gesture and word._

_“I know. I know it’s hard on you. The autopsy records stated that they most probably died from alcohol poisoning, so the funeral should take place soon. Although the pathologists did find some other substance in their bloodstream…but with all the alcohol they’ve been consuming anyway, it’s obvious what happened. After that, you will only have to sit through two more sessions with me. I do hope, us chatting, helps you at least a little bit. I know you said you loved them a lot despite how much they hurt you.”_

_Jaebum smiled behind the cover of his fingers, before faking some tears in his eyes, lowering his hands like curtains pulled on the stage, Jaebum in the spotlight._

_“Talking with you has been great.” Jaebum lied, looking around the room, his eyes suddenly stuck on a drawing made by one of the social worker’s clients. It was a purple butterfly, one of each wing stating with big, red letters, ‘I’ ‘love’ ‘you’ ‘Jackson’._

_Jaebum sighed._

_“You are doing what you can, and I’m thankful for that.”_

_Jackson smiled, his lower lip bitten under his upper teeth twitching, as if holding back tears. When it came to sessions with Jaebum, he always got overly emotional, knowing how much pain Jaebum was hiding despite his collected appearance. If Jaebum wanted something to stay a secret, rest was assured, that Jaebum will take that secret with him to his grave._

_“See you next week Wednesday, Jackson.”_

_But next Wednesday never came. Jaebum ran away to another city after that. He was afraid of growing too friendly with Jackson, fearing that he wouldn’t stay strong enough to keep his secrets to himself. Yet. Jackson was too gentle, too loving, too pushy. Jaebum was not used to that, he was treated like dirt all his life, spit on and in the shadows. Kindness and love made Jaebum weak, made him feel generous and guilty, had no idea how to handle that. Anger and hate, Jaebum could live off of that; it gave him a reason to act. You just_ had _to react to anger and hate, it was impulsive and challenging. But tenderness made him passive, he couldn’t attack or do anything other than let that gentle love soak into him, making him believe in his worth. But in another city, where nobody knew his name or what he had done, he could start again._

_He never looked back on the road that led him astray._

@@@

Although Jaebum already collected enough information on Jinyoung and could easily start on another mission in the meantime, as he had several pending, he still decided to stay on Jinyoung’s case instead.  
  
It was late at night on a Friday when Jaebum snuck into Jinyoung’s apartment again, around the time Jaebum guessed Jinyoung would be taking a shower. He opened the door very carefully, and upon hearing the sound of water flowing from afar, he knew he guessed correctly. It wasn’t unusual or frightening for an assassin like him to be around their victim while they were still awake. After a while, experience taught him how to trust his skills to know he will find a way out of any situation gone wrong.

Trust was everything for an assassin. Trust in his skills, in his knowledge, his mission, the assumptions he made about the victim, his own sense of time, choices, the strength of his feet to carry him out of the worst places at the worst of times, ability to dodge away from an attack, the move of his fist. Sexual appeal, to know when he had seduced someone.

The supreme rule of every assassin was - even the smallest uncertainty was certain death. Distrust in one’s self was the primary enemy.  


When Jaebum heard the water stop and the bathroom door open, he hid near the entrance, waiting for Jinyoung to settle in for the night. He heard unsteady footsteps and coughing, most probably the first symptoms of the poison showing. Jinyoung stepped to the phone in his living room, putting it on speaker as it went through the voicemails.

_“You have one new message from - Mom._

_Sweetie. I got your call earlier this afternoon. If you are not feeling well, please visit the doctor, even if it’s just nausea and dizziness. It’s the third time this week, I’m getting worried. It might have to do something with your liver or stomach, you should get it checked. Rest up, drink some herbal tea before going to bed. You should ask a friend to stay over, it’s not good to be on your own when you’re feeling sick. I love you so much, please keep me updated on how you’re feeling.”_

So the poison was working faster than expected. Indeed, while Jinyoung walked to his bedroom, Jaebum snuck into the kitchen to check the fridge, finding little to no food fresh in it. The boy was hardly eating, the ingredients in the poison successfully acting as appetite suppressants.

However, when Jaebum didn’t hear any sign of movement from the bedroom, he heedfully walked over, peeking from the door left halfway open.

Jinyoung was lying naked on the bed, his black silk robe wrinkled underneath him, his hair still a little wet with some strands sticking to his forehead. His legs were spread apart and his eyes closed shut, twisting in the sheets, but it had nothing to do with the poison. He had the same shoebox Jaebum found last time laid out on the bed with the toys inside it.

The assassin watched Jinyoung push his hips up as he slid his fingertips down his abs teasingly, following the outline of the muscles on the sides, shuddering into the touch. His fingers then inched toward his length, just barely touching it.

“A-ah…” Jinyoung moaned out quietly, his voice small and quivering in the large room. He threw his head back, like it’s been forever since the last time he touched himself. Jaebum watched Jinyoung work himself up, until he was hard, his length flat against his stomach, dripping from pre-cum. He took his time, sliding his fingertips on his length torturously slow, or stopping altogether, keeping himself on the edge and impatient, until he started huffing and whining, not being able to take the teasing anymore. His hand then reached into the box beside him, eyes still closed, knowing exactly where the lube was, before twisting it open and pouring a little on his fingers. Jinyoung lifted his legs up, his index finger circling around the pink rim of his hole, the cold lube making him hiss before the sound melted into a dragged-out moan. He pushed his finger in, rougher than Jaebum expected, a painful and delighted whimper, much louder this time, escaping him. Once his pace fastened, he turned his head to the side, his body rolling like waves to sink deeper into the feeling. It was almost like he was looking at Jaebum with his head towards the door, putting on all this show for him.

Jinyoung’s entire body was rocking on his finger, the springs under the mattress creaking. More and more breathy moans left his lips, surrendered and trembling, finding their way to Jaebum’s ears and groin.

Jaebum had a difficult time resisting any movement that would make noise, watching such a beautiful, as pure as can be, boy, indulge in his dirty fantasy, thinking no one sees him.

But Jaebum watched the whole thing, the way Jinyoung added two, then three fingers, his movements fast and unrelenting, gasping ever so quietly, “ _yes, please, pretty please, yes”_ until his fingers were not enough. He hurriedly pulled them out to replace them with a vibrator, barely lubing it up, before turning it on and pushing it inside himself. Once it was inside deep enough to stay there, he pulled his hands away and started gripping at the sheets, legs occasionally closing on a reflex from the vibrator hitting his prostate. He yelped out each time, exhaling deeply, bucking his hips up and spreading his legs again.

Knowing his personal limits, Jaebum decided it was best to leave, not wanting to make any sound himself. But before leaving, his ears caught on that faint, breathy moan, Jinyoung reaching his orgasm as he arched off the bed with the whimper,

“ _J-Jaebum_ …”

@@@

Even the kids started to comment on Jinyoung’s change in behavior.

“Mr. Park, you’ve been so slow lately! You also don’t talk as much. Are you O.K.?”

“Yes, sunshine, I am fine, I’ve just been a little tired lately. Come, let’s draw something together.”

Jaebum observed Jinyoung from the swing next to him, before raising his eyebrows and lowering his voice, imitating worry.

“Your face is also a little sunken in. You need to eat more. Let’s go and eat out somewhere soon.”

Jinyoung’s face suddenly perked up, his face blossoming into colors. Jaebum let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

“Like…on a _date_?”

Jaebum nodded, accompanied by his most enchanting smile. Jinyoung couldn’t resist him - and didn’t want to.

“I would love to…” He whispered in awe, not taking his eyes off of the assassin’s smile.

“Also, if you don’t mind, because I’m concerned about your health - ” Jaebum continued, pulling Jinyoung closer by the chain that held his swing up, until his lips were almost brushing against Jinyoung’s ear.

“I didn’t want to say this in front of the kids, but I am really concerned. You didn’t even eat any apples today. Let me drive you home, I don’t want anything else, just let me make sure you get home safely.”

He watched Jinyoung swallow hard, his eyes looking back and forth at the pebbles on the ground.

“Y-you don’t have to…You don’t even know my first name!”

But then his mother’s words echoed in his head from the voicemail,

_You should ask a friend to stay over, it’s not good to be on your own when you feel sick._

“I think I do have to. Like I said,” Jaebum leaned back, letting go of Jinyoung’s swing as he cleared his throat loudly, kids listening in around them,

“As the knight, it is my duty to ensure others’ safety.”

“Yes, JB! You still didn’t finish the story!” The kids suddenly yelled, an incoherent union of feet fumbling toward the swing-set drowning the noise of cars passing by. Jaebum watched Jinyoung’s face light up at the sound, a soft, healthy glow shimmering in his eyes. Jaebum felt his feet go cold, the noise of the city suddenly too loud. Jaebum shook himself out of it, forcing a smirk on his face,

“But not before we all get some caramel apples. This applies to you, too, _Mr. Park_.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes but could feel his appetite come back from being around Jaebum,

“Jinyoung. Just Jinyoung.”  


Even while Jaebum was telling the story, he kept making observations. Or so he told himself, watching Jinyoung’s smile spread wide enough to form chubby folds around his eyes. His handsome features softened under the genuine pull of that smile, eyes shining with brightness and affection toward the children’s earnest laughter when Jaebum acted goofy. Time felt slow around the assassin, the falling taffy and rouge petals of the magnolia tree nearby frozen in time, the rattling of the rusty chains holding up the swings out of rhythm for Jaebum’s swiftly beating heart. Jaebum felt a tug at his chest, like the world shifted rotation, spinning fast and slow all at once.

Jinyoung then glanced at him, curious eyes moving back and forth on Jaebum’s face, equally as observing as Jaebum’s. It felt like electricity, jolting currents making Jaebum’s fingers twitch as he held onto the chains of the swing tighter. In any other situation, Jaebum would classify his own behavior as alertness, his senses of picking up on danger approaching always turned on, vigilance growing into one of his greatest strengths as an assassin. This time however, he couldn’t understand why he would become so alert when he was just surrounded by children not even strong enough to open their own bottle of soda, and by a caretaker who secretly reads romance novels tucked away far back in his school’s library.

Simply told, Jaebum knew he shouldn’t feel the way he felt in that moment; his explanations applied were not making any sense.

He tried to shake the feeling off once more, brushing those magnolia petals ruthlessly into the summer breeze, breaking away from Jinyoung’s gaze to look back at the children, continuing with the story instead.

But even after Jinyoung’s face turned to the kids as well, Jaebum could still identify something heavy between them, even though it should just be thin air. He felt Jinyoung’s eyes on him even when the boy wasn’t looking, perhaps continuing to observe from the corners of his eyes. He could hear the tiny collision and movement of the pebbles under Jinyoung’s feet, probably a sign of nervousness as he kept digging and sinking the tip of his shoes into it.

Jaebum took it as his cue to get going, leaving Jinyoung in suspense yet again.

He pretended he had to leave for work, as usual, but kept his promise and went back around 6PM when the kids were picked up by their parents, so he can take Jinyoung home. On the drive to his place, Jinyoung talked about the daycare, how many of the kids there are so poor that the only gifts they ever get is from the caretakers while the parents have to allocate their money on necessities.

Jinyoung always saved up for each of their birthdays and major holidays, and even learned how to bake so he can surprise them with cookies. That explained why Jaebum saw so much flour and baking powder in Jinyoung’s kitchen cabinet even though he didn’t see Jinyoung eat a lot of sweets himself.  He also showed Jaebum a couple of magic tricks he learned so he could entertain the kids, such as pulling a coin from behind Jaebum’s ear, almost making Jaebum bump into the driver in front of them.

“The daycare is open on the weekends because many of the kids have parents who are forced to work seven days a week. They need a place to drop their kids off where they will be safe and fed.” Jinyoung continued, tearing his gaze off the road to look at Jaebum.

“With you on the team, I’m sure that’s not a problem.” Jaebum replied, looking back at Jinyoung.

“They always say, “You are _such a responsible young man!_ ”” Jinyoung laughed, lips stretched wide, his eyes mirroring their joyful curve.

The assassin stared, his gaze discreetly darting down from Jinyoung’s eyes to his lips, then to his nose, and back to his eyes. Jinyoung followed their hungry movements, their gaze dancing around one another. Jinyoung saw, that despite the hunger lurking in Jaebum’s eyes, tucked away behind the taupe rims of his irises, it was a hunger with subdued edges. Not rushed, like how smoke can burst into flames, charcoal black under piles of wood, but more like sunrise, progressively bathing Jinyoung in warm, summer light. This hunger, instead of consuming Jinyoung, felt elevating. It made him feel wanted, and being wanted, is what Jinyoung often craved the most.

Jinyoung’s smile faded down, turning into an embarrassed chuckle at his own thoughts, ducking his head away to look back at the road. Jaebum had a way of making him blush for no reason at all, his mind wandering to inappropriate places.

Jaebum smirked and listened, as always, storing everything away for future reference, although he wasn’t sure why he would need to know all this. Details as such started to become irrelevant to the mission at this point.

But Jaebum was interested.

Jinyoung told him about his passion for child psychology, acting, and music, and that he wants to write a thesis on how musical taste develops in people over their different stages in life, starting from what music sooths newborn babies the most until what song they want to play on their funeral. Jaebum laughed at that, fervently, finding Jinyoung’s natural sense of humor pleasant. He also found his thought process engaging, like how attentive to details Jinyoung was, too, from the way he described each individual kid at the daycare, knowing them the way only a parent would who raised them all their life.

The way Jinyoung pointed out Jaebum’s style, being dangerously close to the truth in some instances,

“Your outfit is always so well done. You seem to be thoughtful with your choices, almost like you have someone in mind. Especially your _The Simpson’s_ socks. The kids love it.”

Jaebum would turn that into a corny flirt, saying something like “maybe trying to look sexy for the parents.”

But he definitely found it difficult to keep the conversation away from himself. Jinyoung was very considerate and was not afraid to sit in silence for minutes until Jaebum answered his question. He was stubborn and assertive in his own right, with a great memory, which helped Jaebum understand why his testimony would be so threatening at the trial. In the most unexpected person, Jaebum found rivaling abilities.  


When Jaebum pulled up to Jinyoung’s place, he hurriedly got out of the car, to Jinyoung’s surprise, and walked around it, just to, like a _gentleman,_ open the door for Jinyoung.

“You…are suck a dork.” Jinyoung sighed but nevertheless blushed at the chivalrous gesture.

“Wouldn’t want you to pull a muscle.” Jaebum grinned, taking Jinyoung’s hand to help him get out of the car like he was Cinderella, stepping out of her carriage. It was cheesy but Jinyoung felt a knot tie in his stomach, smiling without wanting to, for the millionth time. Jaebum caught that, feeling satisfied as he let go of Jinyoung’s hand, waiting for him to step inside his apartment. But Jinyoung just stood there, staring into Jaebum’s eyes with the faint blush on his cheeks turning redder as he spoke,

“I’m…I’m not feeling too well. My friends are on vacation these next few weeks and my parents are on a business trip overseas. I…don’t want to be alone. I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks but I don’t have anyone else I could ask. I don’t want to burden you but…could you, just maybe, give me a number I could reach you at if I’m not feeling well?”

Jaebum was _in_.

“Of course you can! I was actually about to offer it, but I didn’t want to force anything on you. I could even stay over for a while, we could order something to eat so I can make sure you eat enough, call it a date, and then check on you at the daycare tomorrow.”

Jinyoung nodded fast, over the moon that Jaebum cared about him enough to put up with all this trouble. He seemed like someone Jinyoung always wanted to date – kids loved him, he loved them, did volunteer work for a hobby, was consistent and smart, had a stable job, kind and caring, humble, with a beautiful smile and handsome face. He wondered if Jaebum knew how likeable he was, getting under the skin of everyone around him. Each time Jaebum left the daycare, Jinyoung always got his coworkers gossiping about the man - about how _wonderful_ he seemed. They even put bets on when Jaebum would ask Jinyoung on a date,

 _“He’s clearly head over heels for you. He got those heart-eyes, dear. Like the way he stares at you eating the apple? It’s like that’s all he cares about. He’s watching you chewing your food like that’s what makes the world go ‘round. There’s no other explanation why he would keep coming back. He’s been to other daycares, and those pictures were adorable, but he didn’t say he kept going back to them. I mean, our kids are just the sweetest but…let’s face it – you are the reason he keeps coming back.”_  
  


Jaebum kept his promise, ordering them pizza with extra pepperoni on it for Jinyoung. Jinyoung glanced at him, astonished,

“How did you know I like it with extra meat?”

Jaebum had that smirk on his face, Jinyoung giving him all these opportunities to flaunt his attentiveness,

“I know you like them extra thick. The more meat, the better,” He winked, earning a slap on his shoulder.

But hours later when it was time to go, the car-keys already ringing in Jaebum’s hands, Jinyoung stood up from the couch, pulling Jaebum closer by his jacket,

“You don’t have to go, if you don’t want to…”

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” Jaebum gave him a modest smile, placing his hand on top of Jinyoung’s.

“You wouldn’t. _Please_ , stay. I feel much better since you are here with me. I don’t feel sick at all anymore.”

That shouldn’t have comforted Jaebum, as it was very counterproductive to his mission.

But it did. It made him feel _too_ comfortable.

“I didn’t bring anything with me to stay over. Do you have something I could sleep in? Or perhaps you want me naked?” Jaebum teased, but despite the golden opportunity to deepen his relationship with Jinyoung physically, Jaebum was dedicated to presenting himself as a true gentleman. He knew if he ends up cuddling with Jinyoung and take care of him all night, making him that breakfast in bed the next day he planned out weeks ago, he would completely win him over way more than risk Jinyoung feeling like he was taken advantage of.

So that’s exactly what he did.

He cuddled Jinyoung on the couch, the boy’s head in his lap as he played with his hair, watching some animated cartoons in the meantime. At first, Jinyoung offered some psychological drama and thriller to watch, again, trying to appear a certain way for others. The second face was on, as the homeless man would say. He wanted Jaebum to think of him in a more mature, serious light. But Jaebum analyzed him enough by that point to suggest just the perfect romantic animation to put on instead, knowing it had all the romantic elements from the books Jinyoung secretly enjoyed. It also made it seem like Jaebum liked the same things, breaking Jinyoung’s walls down one move at a time. It was a shared bond like with nobody else, something tiny that could mean the world.

Jinyoung couldn’t hide the excitement in his eyes when Jaebum put on the animation, not even requiring Jinyoung to admit he would like to see it. Jaebum just clicked on the selection, grinning at him, pulling Jinyoung’s head gently into his lap, his hands soothingly sliding up and down Jinyoung’s back and arms, getting Jinyoung to relax.

Jaebum had a talent to quantify love, stripping it down from its substance and magic to bare methods and numerical data, all but an easy-to-follow guide. He had to seduce heartless criminals before, people who had long given up on love, murderers who were unwilling to trust anyone around them. Compared to them, Jinyoung was a piece of cake, just begging to be loved.

Everything was falling into place, as it always did, because Jaebum was acclaimed in his career for a reason. He made sure to put extra cinnamon on Jinyoung’s French toast in the morning for breakfast, which was served in bed, and to wash all the dishes in the sink, so when Jinyoung walked into the kitchen long after Jaebum left “for work” the next day, he saw the clean plates neatly stacked, and could remember Jaebum’s kindness.

The bacon beside the French toast was crispy, and he served it with the required level of corniness by folding the napkin into a heart.

Jinyoung soaked Jaebum’s affection in, the assassin hitting every single heartstring without missing a beat. He was a maestro on Jinyoung’s heart, expertly playing all the right songs to make Jinyoung dance to.

Some days, Jinyoung almost felt like Jaebum had a check-list of all the things he ever wanted in a partner, and went through them one by one. He was like a dream to Jinyoung.

He wasn’t far off the truth.

Jinyoung kept thinking all day about Jaebum’s strong arms wrapped around his hips when he cuddled him in bed that night, as he pulled Jinyoung close, petting his head, softly lulling him into sleep. Jinyoung even put on cologne before going to bed, expecting that Jaebum would make a move, but it felt so good to finally be with a guy who said,

“Let me take care of you. You’ve not been feeling well. Let me hug you close.”

And not a single touch of Jaebum felt suggestive, not a single touch disturbing Jinyoung. Jaebum didn’t try to show off, put on something revealing, take advantage of the situation - he just laid in bed with Jinyoung with a baggy hoodie on, engulfing Jinyoung in tenderness all night. Despite how attracted Jinyoung felt to Jaebum, Jaebum still managed to ease his nerves and give him one of the most restful sleeps he ever had.

Love always seemed awkward and amateur in the beginnings, even between experienced and older people, but with Jaebum, everything went unusually smoothly, not a single bump on the road to happiness.

Waking up to that breakfast simply put the dot on the i – there was no doubt, Jinyoung wanted more. Jaebum was the gentleman he had been looking for all his life. Feeling sick or not, as long as it was Jaebum, Jinyoung craved.

Before leaving to work, Jaebum placed a long and compassionate kiss on Jinyoung’s cheeks and forehead, tucking him under the covers of the bed with that wide, dorky smile on his face.

Jinyoung kept gliding his finger over the spots where Jaebum kissed him, even hours afterwards, dreamily thinking back and replaying the feeling of the man’s lips on his skin over and over again.

He wanted to feel those lips on his neck, on his chest, on his thighs, everywhere and anywhere. Fantasies were just not enough anymore.

He was falling in love.

@@@

Jaebum visited Jinyoung increasingly often. At that point, all the kids at the daycare knew that Mr. Park was the winter prince JB knight kept saving in every adventure. Jinyoung’s coworkers were smug about it, the winner of the bet rightfully collecting his money when Jinyoung told them about Jaebum coming over. He bought Jinyoung a new shirt as a gift, and it was a little bit-see through and too short for comfort, to which he suggestively smiled, “you already know what to do.”

Jaebum made him eat an apple with caramel on it every morning for breakfast before school and he often volunteered to drive him there instead of having Jinyoung take the train. With Jaebum in his life, despite the nausea and dizziness getting more frequent, he felt so much happier.

Such as when one night, Jaebum dropped by a little earlier, waiting for Jinyoung to come home from school, already serving dinner. He had candles lighted on the table, fresh laundry scent, because he _just knew_ Jinyoung would love that.

He remembered, from the very first pictures he’s ever seen of Jinyoung on the day he agreed to the mission, the boy walking out of a Thai restaurant. The files contained a note that Jinyoung often went to that place, ordering the same dish each time so Jaebum made sure he seasoned his dinner similarly, with a lot of meat and veggies, confident that Jinyoung would love it. Despite that confidence, he still tried to look nervous, even playing with the food on his plate to accentuate it.

Jinyoung ate his entire act up, reaching out to hold Jaebum’s hand, smiling fondly, assuring him the dinner was _perfect_. Jinyoung loved when Jaebum got a little shy, revealing an occasionally vulnerable man under that professional exterior, someone Jinyoung could also take care of sometimes. And of course, that was precisely what Jaebum wanted to achieve.

But it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t go above and beyond, by turning on the TV after their dinner and starting a playlist he put together exactly for that day. He put on all the songs he saw as the most frequently played on Jinyoung’s MP3 player, and from the CDs that were more scratched on the surface in the boy’s collection.

Tonight was the night Jaebum wanted to own up this mission, sealing Jinyoung’s heart by making love to him.

He took Jinyoung’s hand and led them to the living room, the table already pulled aside. They twisted and twirled to the slow tunes, Jaebum’s hand holding Jinyoung’s hips firmly – not gentle, not subtle, he was making a statement. Jinyoung’s arms were around his neck, pulling him close, desperation showing in every stumbled move. Each time Jaebum moved his fingers on his body, Jinyoung’s eyelids fluttered, never before touched like this by anyone, no one ever knowing what spots he was exactly sensitive on, but Jaebum had it all, and he easily toyed with his body, making it turn just the way Jaebum wanted it to. Even as they just danced, with their chins on each other’s shoulders, Jaebum had the situation under control, making every move Jinyoung made a move he wanted it to be, drawing teasing circles onto his clothed hips, making Jinyoung press himself closer until he was almost standing on Jaebum’s feet.

From gripping Jinyoung so firmly, his hands rose up every time Jinyoung inhaled, and Jinyoung was taking deep breaths, heavy with need. Jinyoung’s arms snuck their way into the man’s exuberant hair, softly bringing their foreheads together, continuing to dance like that with their eyes closed.

Jaebum suggestively moved his hand down to splay his fingers over Jinyoung’s butt, grabbing it, looking at his reaction from under his lashes. He saw Jinyoung arch his eyebrows, with an ever so quiet gasp accompanying it, and felt the boy pull him closer in turn, their lips brushing against each other. Jinyoung moved his hands from Jaebum’s hair to hold his face between his palms, leaning in for a kiss.

Jaebum let Jinyoung kiss him, curious, wandering lips pecking and teasing his own. Jaebum had never been kissed this slowly, tasted for this long, having lips hover above his, making him lean in for more, before connecting just for a second, then pull away and meet again half-way. When Jaebum thought Jinyoung had enough fun, he deepened the kiss with his tongue, brushing against Jinyoung’s, making him moan shakily into the kiss. Jaebum felt a shiver run down his own spine at the sound, and another when Jinyoung took Jaebum’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulling on it as he leaned away, their eyes locking gaze before Jinyoung let go of it. Jaebum smirked, gently leading them to the bedroom next door in-between kisses.

Because Jinyoung was putting up no resistance at all, the assassin could push him down onto the bed with just his fingers, tilting and bending him down inch by inch until he fell backwards the rest of the way.

Jinyoung spread his legs and stretched his arms out, looking up to meet Jaebum’s gaze as he stood before him.

Jinyoung had to admit that he liked to manipulate people, in his own, patient way. But he always wanted someone who would figure that out, be able to play along, and challenge him. Someone who would know the dirty tricks up his sleeve and be a duel for him, an equal force – or preferably greater. Someone who would ease Jinyoung’s mind from wanting to use tricks, exhaust him until he comes apart in their hands, playing no more games. Jinyoung loved how he got his way with Jaebum, make him blush and nervous, but he also loved how sober Jaebum remained during the process, always leaving the impression that as much as he lets Jinyoung charm him, and turn him into a marshmallow, he can make tables turn in any second.

Jinyound sensed that danger to him. That touch of corruption.

He loved the thrill. Jaebum could flip things around with the blink of an eye.  


Jaebum knew Jinyoung was a virgin, never going all the way with anyone. He was in his early 20s so it wasn’t surprising, but Jaebum made sure to act like he was in disbelief so he can make Jinyoung _say_ he _wants it_. It had to be stated out loud, punctuating the things thus far unsaid between them. But these were, nevertheless, all things Jaebum had been strategically leading them up to. Saying them just made it official, gave them a real weight to measure with, tying the stray strands of Jaebum’s plot into a full circle.

When Jaebum straddled Jinyoung from above, grabbing his thighs and pushing them apart for more space, Jinyoung gripped at the bedsheets under them, biting his lower lip raw from excitement, feeling enthusiastic at seeing a gentleman progressively turning into a hungry wolf for him. Caged between Jaebum’s body and the mattress, there was nowhere to hide, and Jinyoung shuddered at the thought of being Jaebum’s victim, throwing his head far back into the mattress, his body jolting from untamed desire.

“P-please be gentle…No one has ever...” Jinyoung stuttered, trying to give Jaebum a disclaimer but unable to finish the sentence, his entire face flushed.

Like a record was scratched, it stopped all of Jaebum’s movements, just as he planned.

“You’re a virgin?” Jaebum asked, pretending to sound shocked.

“Y-yes. Jaebum, but– “

“Why,” He interrupted, “did you not tell me about this sooner?”

“Because I didn’t want you to stop. I like you, Jaebum.” He whispered, reaching for Jaebum’s hand to place them on his waist, afraid that Jaebum could change his mind in any moment. He wanted Jaebum’s hands on his body, to pull Jaebum in too far to look back, giving him enough of a taste that he won’t be able to say no.

“I just…” Jaebum sounded speechless, “Being your first…it’s so special. At least to me, so I don’t think -“

“ _No_ …” Jinyoung rushed out, shaking his head, “I want it. I-I can take it. I know you planned all this out. You knew I want you. You finally have me here now…so _please_ …”

Yes - Jaebum knew Jinyoung wanted him. Knew he was a virgin. _Knew it all_.

Despite that, hearing Jinyoung’s quivering voice and witnessing the desperate glint in his eyes unravel, the world heavy with sound and meaning, Jaebum felt the ground under his feet grow unsteady.

It _felt_ like he was truly hearing these words for the first time.

“I want you _so much_.” Jinyoung insisted, yearning for Jaebum to speak up, “Be my first…”

But Jaebum was deep in thought about how he was used to assassinating people without morals and ethics. He never had to deal with a virgin.

He never had to deal with being someone’s first love.

“Please, Jaebum, _take me_.” Jinyoung whispered shakily, words like electric currents firing all over Jaebum’s nerves, sending hot waves of pleasure throughout his body. Even when you can predict what someone will do almost to the point of what they will say, it can still never come even close to the feeling of watching it happen in front of your eyes. Not even the sweetest dream could do, reality was unrivaled.

“ _Please_. Don’t just sit here…I know you want me like I want you.”  


Before being an assassin, Jaebum was a human, and a man, with needs and wants. He found himself struggling as he stared into his victim’s eyes.

Those eyes. _Haunting_. That crystal of innocence in them, pearls of beauty. Jaebum couldn’t make himself stare into them. He can’t take him, knowing what he was doing to him, while looking into his eyes without that hot coal of guilt sinking into his chest. Every time he looked, he saw, unfaltering, the need and affection swirling in them, and Jaebum was getting weak again, like that day with the social worker, but he had nowhere to run away in the middle of a mission this time.

Instead, he reached down, hands trembling lightly, as he tore the shirt off of Jinyoung. The boy yelped, caught off guard, watching Jaebum reach for the end of the shirt, ripping off a long strip before throwing the rest of the fabric away.

“I’m going to blindfold you. It will feel good, I promise.” He said, doing his best to sound frisky and poised, despite the pain in his heart.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened but eventually nodded in anticipation. He raised his head up to let Jaebum tie the knot behind it, pulling the fabric tightly over his eyes. His heart sped up, now every movement Jaebum made was louder, and every touch warmer. He became sensitive to temperature and sound, his own heartbeat pulsating in his ears.

“J-Jaebum…” He moaned, reaching his hands to hold Jaebum’s. But because he couldn’t see, his hands fell short of reaching Jaebum’s, plastering onto his chest and abs instead, feeling the scars under his fingertips. He traced their outline gently, sitting up enough to be able to touch them with his lips, licking and kissing as many as he could reach.

It disturbed something in Jaebum, as if after years of darkness, the light was turned on in a room, revealing frightening and tormenting secrets. But Jinyoung’s trembling lips felt divine, his inexperience greatly compensated by his wholehearted efforts.

No one ever cared to give those scars attention other than praising or finding them appealing, before spreading their legs for Jaebum or pushing him against a wall. But Jinyoung was different; he _cared_. He kissed the pain away, as if he knew.

Jaebum intertwined their fingers for them, taking Jinyoung’s other hand, too, and pulling them together by the wrist, pining them crossed above Jinyoung’s head, so his wounds were out of reach.

It was easier, with Jinyoung blindfolded, because Jaebum didn’t have to hide the sorrow in his eyes, or the frown on his lips, as he softly thumped along Jinyoung’s body with the fingers on his free hand, making the boy’s body roll and arch into every touch. Still those moans he let out, his lips silently begging his name, were also too much, so Jaebum placed the hand from over his wrists to cover his mouth instead, silencing both Jinyoung and the raging storm in his own head.

Guilt, everywhere he looked. But Jinyoung whimpered at that, his lips starting to kiss and lick Jaebum’s palm almost gratefully. Jaebum closed his eyes, sighing deeply at the warmth of Jinyoung’s tongue and the softness of his lips on the ticklish spot.

He tore his hand away with a growl and put it back on Jinyoung’s wrists – he had to concentrate.

_‘Get a hold of yourself.’_

He had to be in control of the situation at all times. He can’t be taken by surprise. He had to seduce Jinyoung, not Jinyoung him.

Yet guilt kept relentlessly torturing Jaebum, an emotion not familiar to him, at least in the last couple of years. Knowing how this would end, the recognition tore Jaebum apart, and it was a raw emotion, fleshy and burning, turning his desire for Jinyoung into lava in his veins, just venomous, hot agony.

Jinyoung arched his back off the bed, forming an elegant curve, wiggling against Jaebum’s hold, the heels of his feet digging into his back.

“Please don’t stop…” He pouted, wanting Jaebum to fully undress him already, take the rest of his clothing off, roam his hands all over his body. With the impromptu blindfold on, he was even keener to each touch, the excitement doubling with every unexpected caress, and it urged him to be more vocal, making him feel faceless and shameless.

Jaebum scoffed at himself.

 _‘Get. It. Together.’_  
  
With that, he dragged Jinyoung’s pants and underwear off, exposing his very hard length as it stood almost flat against his stomach. Even if Jinyoung didn’t tell him he was a virgin, just the way his body reacted to Jaebum’s touch spoke for itself.

Jinyoung’s body was shaking from the sensation - it was his first time being handled like this. He was touched in house parties before he didn’t want to go to, been kissed and groped, but never held like this, _wanted_ like this, the feeling of Jaebum’s lips now on his cock something very different from anything he had ever put around it.

Jaebum licked a fat stripe along the length, broad strokes making Jinyoung buck frantically into each move of his tongue, as it curled around it, licking along the slit on the head, making Jinyoung yelp, voice cracked and wet. In the meantime, the assassin also kept sliding his hands up and down Jinyoung’s legs and thighs, kneading the toned, flexed muscles with the round, curvy edges, molding and melting under the expert work of Jaebum’s sedulous fingers.

Jaebum then moved onto biting Jinyoung’s sides, pressing his lips hard between the ribcages, slightly tickling Jinyoung, making him twist away and struggle, his head turning from side to side in a desperate protest against the delicate mix of pain and pleasure. But Jaebum just kept moving up, kissing and biting down onto Jinyoung’s shoulders and shoulder blades, his cold lips against Jinyoung’s heated skin making the boy shiver and moan.

The assassin tried not to look at Jinyoung, not to watch his soft features contort, his composed and innocent frontier breaking apart, revealing all that naked need, like the mellow fall of a night gown onto the ground, leaving nothing left for the eyes to wonder. Jaebum could feel his shirt getting wet from something, and he looked down to see the first drops of pre-cum leak from Jinyoung’s member, so he knew the boy was close.

“Do you have any lube?” He asked, knowing the answer long ago but he had to keep on his act.

“Y-yes…but…” Jinyoung yelped, realizing where the lube was, or more like what else the lube was with, “but…it’s…there are some other stuff in the box…”

“What box? Where is it?”

“Under the b-bed but promise me you…won’t judge.” Jaebum chuckled, reaching to plant a kiss on Jinyoung’s velvety lips, crimson red from all the biting. It was typical of Jinyoung to fear judgment even when all his guards were down.

“I won’t. I really won’t.” And Jaebum meant it. If anything, he loved it, indulging in Jinyoung’s fantasies as much as Jinyoung did, wanting to use the toys on Jinyoung himself, the way Jinyoung never could, even though all that was beyond the scope of his mission.

It didn’t matter. He couldn’t help it.

Jinyoung made him _feel_ and _want_ again. It’s been years.

The rancor in his heart was growing by the minute.

Jaebum got up, not wasting time to pretend for too long that he can’t find the lube, undressing himself and taking the lube out without hesitation, coating his fingers in it. Jinyoung listened to the cap being twisted off, feeling his anticipation build-up, never before being fingered by someone else.

And he was so happy it was Jaebum, because he felt good giving his first time to him, to someone who treated him so well. Feeling him inside of himself, knowing Jaebum will always keep him in mind and do everything with love -

It made Jinyoung almost moan just from the thought.

“Let me know if I’m being too rough or too much at any point. Don’t hesitate to ask me to slow down. I want this to be good for you.” Jaebum said, feeling uncomfortable at how undeniably special this moment felt for him, too.

Jinyoung’s first time.

Nothing should feel like this on a mission. It shouldn’t be good to feel Jinyoung clench around his finger, breathy moans tossed carelessly into the air when he pushed the first finger in fully. Shouldn’t be this good hearing Jinyoung scream in pleasure when his finger curled at the right spot, hearing him ask for more, hearing him ask Jaebum to push them in deeper, but it’s all one too many things for Jaebum, feeling his own pants getting tighter.

When Jinyoung started to thrust back onto his fingers harder and faster, Jaebum knew Jinyoung was ready, so he pulled them out, taking a condom from the box and rolling it onto his member. He placed the tip at Jinyoung’s entrance, his hands in full command of Jinyoung’s hips and upper thighs, making sure he keeps him in place and positions him right.

He could feel Jinyoung’s body shudder in arousal from the firm grip and the feeling of Jaebum’s length so close to being inside him, his body trying to sink down onto it exactly when Jaebum was about to push in. The movement made them collide, skin slapping against skin loudly. Jinyoung’s lips opened to a silent scream, with Jaebum pushing into him slow and gentle, stretching him wide open until he could feel Jaebum’s thighs brush against his, fully inside of him.

Jaebum leaned forward, his hand cupping Jinyoung’s face lovingly. Jinyoung leaned into the touch of his hand, turning his face around so he could kiss his palm. Jaebum eased into the kiss, his hand moving to hover over Jinyoung’s mouth, muffling every breath again. Jaebum pulled out of him slowly, until he was half-way out, then slid right back in, much faster. He could feel Jinyoung’s breath and lips on his hand tickling his palm after each thrust. It made Jaebum close his eyes, not being able to stop himself in time from moaning huskily,

“ _Jinyoung-ah_ ”

Jinyoung let out a high-pitched whimper, his mind going numb over hearing the nickname. He whined like when puppies cry for something, asking Jaebum to say it again. Jaebum cursed at himself mentally, catching himself slip more and more often when he was around Jinyoung. He tried to just keep his hand over the boy’s mouth, pushing in and out of him in a sensual rhythm, silencing all the delighted whimpers so he could concentrate on the mission, but Jinyoung just kept making those sobbing sounds until Jaebum lifted his hand up,

“C-call me like that again. Say my name….Please, _please_ , Jaebum, s-say it again…” He pleaded, one hand reaching down to intertwine his fingers with Jaebum’s once more, pulling him close. Jaebum felt angry for letting something affectionate slip out of his mouth without _planning_ to, because it was too sincere for comfort, so he shook Jinyoung’s fingers off, placing his own into his mouth, acting as a gag to continue muffling the boy’s pleas and moans while he moved inside of him.

But nothing helped. Even with the eyes covered and mouth silenced, the guilt was unrelenting and refused to disappear.

He sped up in frustration, losing focus, before he choked out in demur,

 “ _Jinyoung-ah_.”

Jinyoung exhaled deeply at hearing the nickname again, plump lips tightly sucking on and curled around Jaebum’s digits, and Jaebum could feel the vibration of his throat on his fingers, making his own body go stiff.

Every single thing Jinyoung did made something fire up inside Jaebum, electric sparks running through his body, pushing him closer to the edge, especially seeing Jinyoung’s pink, hard cock bounce against his stomach, pre-cum smearing all over his milky skin.

Jaebum slipped his fingers out, using the wetness from the saliva as lubricant, slick enough to slide up and down Jinyoung’s length without much effort, forcing him to reach his orgasm faster.

Jinyoung’s voice was raspy from having Jaebum’s fingers in his throat but that didn’t make him moan any less, mindlessly chanting Jaebum’s name as he was reaching his climax,

“I’m going t-to cum, Jaebum, J-Jaebum! Let me cum f-for you…”

The assassin groaned, confused as to how he could feel so much misery dragging him down while his body was running high, relentlessly thrusting into Jinyoung. He felt like the wind could blow him away, feeling so frail from every move Jinyoung made. The simplest things burnt the most, like the way Jinyoung’s lips parted with a thin strand of saliva still connecting them, making Jaebum dying to kiss him. The way he kneaded the sheets in pleasure, his hair messy around his head, splayed out like a halo. The way Jinyoung’s body heat made the cologne on him blunter and sweeter, the scent Jaebum knew he put on himself just for Jaebum. Fresh and fruity.

And Jaebum felt sorry.

He wanted the pain to be over, so he cut the night short, speeding up his movements on Jinyoung’s cock, getting him to reach the edge first. Jinyoung came all over his stomach, Jaebum’s hand working him until his length was soft. Jaebum followed very soon afterwards, especially at the sight of a flushed, blindfolded, dirty Jinyoung, reaching for Jaebum’s hand to hold innocently until he came off his high. Jaebum grunted at the vision of his sweaty body rolling the orgasm out, holding Jaebum’s hand on the bed beside himself, small whimpers gradually quieting down.

Jaebum never had sex like this before. No sex ever felt this intimate, not even his own first time. Jinyoung opened a whole new world to Jaebum, with feelings he had been sweeping under the rug all his life.

This new world – Jaebum wanted to close it.

Once Jaebum pulled out, falling next to Jinyoung, the boy turned to his side, wrapping his soft, naked body around the assassin. Jaebum looked at him then, as if he could see his eyes through the blindfold, contemplating how he will manage to look Jinyoung in the eye without having to face himself in their reflection.

“You felt so good…” Jinyoung confessed in a whisper between the little space separating their faces, snuggling closer to Jaebum, “I … _really_ like you Jaebum.”

There’s only so long you can lie to yourself until the truth comes to the surface or the lie itself becomes the new truth.

“I really like you, too, Jinyoung-ah.”

@@@

The good times were coming to an end afterwards.

The poison accumulating was turning Jinyoung into a sleeping beauty. He had no more energy left, he just laid in bed, sleeping all day. Except when Jaebum visited, which gave him enough strength to get to his feet, greeting and hugging him close, only to fall back onto the bed right after. He gave Jinyoung some of his own larger T-shirts to wear upon Jinyoung’s request, the fabric tastefully hanging off of his shoulders when at times Jaebum would carry him back to the bed if he really couldn’t hold himself up anymore. The boy snuggled into his embrace, falling asleep in his arms before they even reached the bed.

He only needed a few more of the apples and then it would be over.

Jinyoung’s mother kept leaving messages, asking Jinyoung to go to the doctor. But Jaebum would tell him,

“Those doctors will only try to prescribe you a bunch of opioids, so you will keep jumping from doctor to doctor, each making you take different medication and more of it, hooking you on them, until you are broke and sicker than you began. I’m here to take care of you…You just have to rest it out.” He would emphasize the sentiment by delicately pushing a few stray strands of hair away from Jinyoung’s face, kissing his forehead.

But over time, Jaebum could tell Jinyoung was growing impatient, more so with feeling like a burden for Jaebum than anything. He wanted someone who was caring and treated him well but Jaebum was becoming like a parent or full-time nurse, which made Jinyoung feel frustrated, blaming himself that he’s not recovering fast enough.

Things reached a turning point one day, when Jaebum was bringing him a cup of warm, herbal tea, like his mother suggested Jinyoung to drink in each phone call, and Jinyoung raised his arms, taking the cup, but his hands were shaking slightly, making some of the tea spill out. Jaebum urged forward, trying to take it away gently,

“It’s O.K., let me –“

“No, I don’t need your help!” Jinyoung snapped, the frustration prominently underlying his voice, angry at himself for feeling brittle, his emotions in a turmoil, but his hands were still shaking, gripping the cup until his fingertips turned white, the color on his nails fading into a washed-out yellow. As he held onto it, Jaebum still leaning forward to take it away from him, Jinyoung’s hold slipped and the cup fell onto the floor, shattering far into the corners of the room.

“Fuck!” Jaebum exclaimed but regretted it right afterwards, seeing the tears gather in Jinyoung’s eyes. “Jinyoung I’m sorry.” He tried to apologize, reaching to hug Jinyoung. Jinyoung didn’t protest, feeling too drained to move, almost lifelessly hanging between Jaebum’s arms.

The assassin squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on his mission, not letting way of the tears that he thought were long dried up. He didn’t know how to handle things changing, denying the truth that seeing Jinyoung weak and frustrated left him in pain, too, and that foreseeing Jinyoung’s future made him want to throw up.

Jinyoung suffering didn’t feel right.

 _‘I shouldn’t be feeling anything at all._ ’  
  
Jinyoung’s eyes silently followed the trail of the tea on the dark wooden floor, sinking into its dips and breaks, soaking up the sugary liquid. The liquid moved slowly, thinning out over the surface. Jaebum turned his head and they just watched it together, in dead silence, as if it meant something, the liquid flowing under the shattered glass pieces like rivers crossing around a mountain, separating the single trail into two separate paths.

Jaebum’s face was in a tight frown, trying not to show the lump in his throat and chest, burdening his conscience.

“Maybe it will be better if you leave…” Jinyoung mumbled, his voice steady but extremely quiet.

Jaebum wanted to protest and stay for the night but then he caught himself in his reasoning –

 _‘Stay for what_?’ To make sure Jinyoung will get through it? Make sure he will be fine? That he won’t feel alone? To comfort him?

 _‘Did you forget what you’re even here for?!’_ he yelled at himself internally, rage turning the lump in his chest and throat into layers of spiky barbed wire piercing him from the inside.

The very last thing he should feel is affection. He was not an amateur, he didn’t start his profession yesterday. He was an assassin on a mission, with years of experience behind him.

So he straightened up, letting go of his embrace. He ignored Jinyoung’s gasp, tried to delete from his memory the feeling of the boy’s body leaning after him, for his warmth and touch, betraying the words he had spoken.

“Fine. I won’t sleep here tonight. I’ll clean up this mess and then I’m on my way.”

Jaebum stated, his voice and act back in the game. If you looked at his face, you would never know he was crumbling to pieces a couple of seconds ago. Not anymore.

Jinyoung didn’t comment on it, just looked away, slowly falling back onto the bed in a fetal position, too powerless to even pull the covers over himself. He just had his arms wrapped around his body, his hands digging into his shoulders, shaking from the cold that was not in the air.

It was the poison.

Jaebum was precise with the dosage, planned out exactly how much was needed in each bite, yet time seemed to pass by so quickly, faster than with his previous victims. As if things were just slipping out of his grasp. It was a feeling Jaebum hardly recognized as his own, less do tolerate.

He quickly collected the broken mug pieces, proceeding to mop the floor clean. Not like Jinyoung would have much power to get up from the bed but he did it anyway, putting on that show, going that extra mile, always, like the assassin he was.

All for the show, ‘ _right_?’  


Part of what made someone a good assassin was their acute interest and attention in the details of a person that allowed him to predict their actions. It was a profession that put Jaebum in constant danger, making him rely on his skills to understand his environment and clients.  
  
But he started to think he really miscalculated Jinyoung when he found himself tossing and turning in his bed at dawn, cellphone gripped anxiously in his hand, waiting for Jinyoung to call him, asking Jaebum to come back to his place. Waiting for Jinyoung to break down and ask him to watch over him. Because Jinyoung was afraid, Jaebum _knew_ that much, and he thought it would be enough to make the boy overcome his pride and ask for his help.

Jaebum must have really made him feel ashamed, as the clock ticked to 5AM, and the call never came.

He started to second-guess himself, his mind running through his memories. Did he put too much poison on the apple? That had never happened before. Jaebum was precise with every kill, more so than any other person in his profession. He wondered if Jinyoung just…never woke up.

He thought about the tea and the floor - did he put too much cleaning detergent in the water? Did it make the floor slippery and Jinyoung slipped when he tried to get up? Jaebum was going crazy.

An assassin should never second guess themselves. _Uncertainty was certain death – the primary rule of the profession._

It was 5:42AM and he couldn’t hold on anymore. He got up, feeling restless, throwing the phone on his bed, almost breaking both the headboard and the phone in the process.

He was acting irrational. Out of control. Hot-headed and too emotionally charged - he was coming undone, each day a new fracture, the cracks too wide, wounds too deep.

He got to the bathroom sink, looking at himself in the mirror, turning on the water at the sink, trying to wash away his guilt.  


When Jaebum was a child, his grandparents took him to church on Sundays. He grew up in a fairly religious family, poor and fearful.

 _“This boy is someone very special. His eyes sparkle like no other child’s I’ve ever seen,”_ Jaebum recalled the priest talking to this grandparents one day after the prayers ended. Jaebum was younger then, just a child, looking up at the priest from behind his grandmother’s skirt. The priest looked at him fondly, gazing at the bruises peeking through Jaebum’s shirt, as he said, _“You will go far, my child_ ,” He then crouched down to be on eye-level to him, whispering like it was a secret between the two of them,

 _“But don’t go too far, or you will get lost.”_ It was like the glint of forgiveness in his eyes foresaw that hurricane that started in Jaebum in his early teens, leading him to the present.

A wild and bereft assassin was born a couple of years later.

Jaebum looked into his own eyes deeply through the mirror now, wanting to punch himself.

It doesn’t matter what that man said. He definitely didn’t go too far.

What would a man like him know about getting lost anyway? The priest always lived safe, buried in his books. Jaebum took risks, and when all roads ahead of him ended, life demanding him to fall to his knees and give up, he survived, lived in abandoned construction buildings, lived on the streets, learned to live by the rules unwritten. When no one believed in him, he still kept going, and that trust in himself from those early years of aimlessness and starvation is what will lead him through to the end of this tunnel, too.

He had to trust himself that he knew what he was doing with Jinyoung. He had to trust himself that he figured the boy out. Trust himself enough to carry him through this mission. Trust, that no matter how weak Jinyoung made him feel, he can persist. Everything that helped Jaebum survive his childhood was what made him an excellent assassin today. Everything that didn’t kill him, made him stronger. It _had_ to.

Jinyoung was just another challenge to overcome.

He took a deep breath, the clogged sink almost overflowing with water. Jaebum turned it off and stared at his reflection in the water, splashing his face in it and holding his breath, until he had no air remaining in his lungs, the ice-cold water waking him up from the inside.  


As he walked back into the room, drying his face and hair with a towel, he heard his phone buzz.

Six missed phone calls and two messages, from Jinyoung.

Jaebum smirked. He did not miscalculate.

@@@

“You look a little better now, Jinyoung.” Jaebum commented as he sat down on the edge of Jinyoung’s bed beside him. Jinyoung reached his hand out, wanting to hold Jaebum’s hand.

“I was an idiot…I missed you _so much_ ,” He admitted, “Sleep here tonight. I will not be stubborn again.”

His eyelids fluttered, hands still reaching for Jaebum to take them. Jaebum knew he had to put his act on, that cheeky lover façade, whip out the gentleman card, but he was afraid that if he holds Jinyoung for too long, it won’t be a façade anymore.

Jinyoung’s lips turned droopy, his hands falling down onto the mattress, sinking with his heart.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all!” Jaebum smiled, but Jinyoung furrowed his brows together,

“Then why won’t you touch me? You’ve not even called me ‘Jinyoung-ah’ since you...since we made love.” He looked like an abandoned kitten, kicked out of the house once the puppy arrived.  “After you left last night, when the wind blew through the window and I felt it on my shoulders, I thought it was your touch…that you came back. I imagined you were hugging me close to you…But it was just the wind.”

Jaebum was biting down on his tongue at the glimpse of tears gathering in the boy’s eyes.

_‘I fucking can’t.’_

His hands eventually found Jinyoung’s and intertwined their fingers in mercy, knowing better than to raise any more suspicion. Jinyoung had to feel loved if he was to eat from Jaebum’s hands, and he still had at least two more apples to give him.

But it was hard, seeing Jinyoung sigh deeply, his lips shaking as he closed his eyes, pressing himself into the pillow, feeling eased and overjoyed from having Jaebum close to him. He tugged on Jaebum’s hand, pulling the man down, cuddling against him while tucking his head under his chin.

He inhaled deeply, taking in Jaebum’s cologne. He _loved_ this cologne. In fact, he was often amazed at how Jaebum always managed to be everything Jinyoung ever looked for in a guy; down to the details, like his style, smell, sense of humor, the kind of books he likes, the food he eats, and all those minor things that almost made Jaebum the ideal man for him. It even scared him at times, like in this moment, just knowing how much he needed Jaebum. If he wasn’t so sick, he would have stayed up all night, bothering Jaebum on the phone to come back. He missed having Jaebum’s arms around him, it felt protective, and those sweet apples he gave him, were slowly becoming Jinyoung’s favorite, its bittersweet taste addictive. Now he understood why kids got so excited to eat candy. Or maybe for him, it was because Jaebum was the one giving them.

“Will you stay here tonight?” Jinyoung asked, hopeful, looking up at Jaebum. Jaebum couldn’t get himself to look into Jinyoung’s eyes, so he gently pushed his head back down onto his chest, his hands running back and forth, massaging Jinyoung’s scalp and playing with his hair to keep him there.

“Please…don’t leave, I don’t want to sleep alone again. Please, sleep here with me. Hug me close to you, like you did before. I won’t yell at you again!”

It felt like needles were poking into Jaebum’s eyes, stinging pain in every blink and every breath he took.

“Of course I will, _Jinyoung-ah_. I’m sorry for being too forceful. I just…didn’t want the tea to burn you.” He hummed, trying to get comfortable on the bed, closing his eyes, Jinyoung’s weight on his chest a pleasant warmth. He didn’t want to think about Jinyoung dying away by the day, in his arms now, running to the very man who will dig him six feet under.

“I know…” Jinyoung whispered apologetically, squeezing himself more under Jaebum’s protective arms. “You are so wonderful to me, Jaebum…I-I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m so happy you are in my life…You are truly _my knight_ and this illness is like that dragon. I know you will save me.” Jinyoung chuckled, his fingers caressing Jaebum’s sides.

Jaebum’s eyes shot open as he stared at the ceiling in anguish.

_‘Maybe the priest was right.’_

He was getting lost. He certainly felt lost.

 _‘Yet two more apples.’_ He could do it.

“If I recover from this flue or whatever this is, I can’t wait to kiss you again and to have you make love to me. I want to see the kids at the daycare, they must be missing me so much! And it’s summer time, I want to go outside with you. We need to go on more dates.”

“You should rest your voice, Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said, his own voice cracking, at the images in his head of going on a picnic with Jinyoung by the Han river, sitting in the swings again at the daycare, telling the kids another story, dancing with Jinyoung in the living room, to new songs they would discover together, watching Jinyoung bake gingerbread cookies for the kids on Christmas like he said he does on the holidays. They could look for gifts for them _together_. Read books under the tree _together_. Share another kiss. More nights of making love to Jinyoung - no more blindfolds.

No more caramel apples.

But these images started to swirl away, fading into oblivion.

“You are right…you know what’s best for me. I trust you.”

Jinyoung said, inhaling Jaebum’s cologne loudly as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of the man’s neck, slowly drifting off to sleep, feeling safe and sound in Jaebum’s arms.

On the contrary, Jaebum did not sleep a single minute. He continued to stare at the ceiling in desolation, watching the shadows retreat as more and more sunlight plastered onto the walls with the morning’s rise.

Jaebum was tripping, he knew that. He was getting lost, or maybe he had been lost all this time and just finding the way through Jinyoung felt too overwhelming.

He felt too much for Jinyoung. So beautiful in his arms now, even with the faded color of his lips and sickly pale skin. His inner and outer beauty was no match even to Death itself. He would make Death fall to its knees just from his lovely laugh, make Death wail from those chubby wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles, his kindness making Death crawl back into the darkness like a cockroach, too powerless to be in Jinyoung’s radiant light.

Jaebum summed up his remaining options, standing at a crossroad.

He either accelerates the process and kills Jinyoung faster than planned.

Or…he aborts the mission.

The red scarlet letter on an assassin’s record. Unrepairable.

An unfinished job. A waste of resources. His reputation will go down the drain.  


While his parents were arguing or out drinking, Jaebum often ran away to his grandparents who put on the morning cartoons for him. His favorite cartoon was Sylvester, the cartoon cat’s adventures, especially the episodes in which he was chasing Tweety Bird, the yellow canary, to kill and eat it. Tweety Bird always escaped, until that one episode where Sylvester lied to Tweety Bird that he wanted to be friends and that he didn’t want to eat him anymore. To prove that to the bird, they spent days without chasing or trying to murder one another. At some point, Sylvester found himself just having the canary lay in his hands, absolutely clueless and helpless, and it was his golden opportunity, a once in a lifetime chance, to finally eat the bird. But instead, he started to weep even at the thought, and let the canary go. After all that chasing and work, he just let the bird go, because somehow along the chase and all the lies, he grew fond of it, and the lies became the truth.

It felt like a chilling parallel, the more Jaebum thought of it, with his own little canary lying bare on his chest, all helpless and dependent, and Jaebum was living in a lie, weeping as it bloomed into the truth.

@@@

It was mid-August. A stunning summer day, early in the morning. Jaebum was in the living room at Jinyoung’s place, waiting for Jinyoung to put on his black dress shoes. They both had their suits on, the taxi waiting outside to drive them to court. It was the day of the trial and Jaebum wanted to accompany Jinyoung. For one reason to comfort him, for another to make sure when the family sees Jinyoung they won’t try to kill him on the spot, and because Jaebum wasn’t sure that he will ever see Jinyoung again.

Jaebum lied to the family that everything was going as planned, making his final phone call the day before the trial, telling them the “unfortunate” news that Jinyoung passed away. Jaebum doubted he will ever forget seeing their faces when Jinyoung stepped into the court room, quietly sitting down on the benches in the back of the room until the case before them finished, oblivious to all the people who thought he was dead.

The benches in the court room organized in a handful of neat rows, with the judge sitting on her elevated chair, weirdly reminded Jaebum of his days in the church, but instead of prayers, this time, a different kind of confession was washing him clean.

The family couldn’t do anything, and they wouldn’t, when all was too late, so they sat through Jinyoung testifying, the cross-examination of the attorney they hired beyond fatal. This family just seemed to have a bad luck at picking their players.

Jaebum excused himself mid-way, saying he urgently had to go to the bathroom. Even though it was not allowed, they slipped that through for him and made an exception because Jaebum was, like a true assassin, the greatest actor, making them believe he would _just die_ on the spot if he can’t take a piss.

They could diminish his title and recognition, but never his skills.

He didn’t look back as he walked right past the bathroom, straight through the exit and into the car waiting for him outside.

His career was officially over as an assassin. The scarlet letters of failure stamped on his skin with a branding iron. Just one more scar to add to the many.

He knew difficult days were ahead, full of self-doubt and hate. But he lived through worse before, he knew he will see the light at the end of the tunnel again, however many times he will get lost inside.

He went straight to the airport, all his fake documentation long prepared. He knew the family will try to hunt him down and he couldn’t be around Jinyoung to endanger him.

On that note, Jinyoung healed beautifully, without the last few dosages of the poison, and under Jaebum’s expert care, as he knew exactly what ingredients neutralized the toxic.

Toward the way to the airport, he rolled the window of the car down, letting the fast swirling of the wind comb through his hair, as he thought back to his last night with the boy, where they made love a second time, at Jaebum’s suggestion to “ease Jinyoung-ah’s nervousness about testifying in court”.  
  
The memory of Jinyoung, wrapping Jaebum’s tie around his knuckles, pulling him in for a rough kiss as he arched off the bed, pressing himself against Jaebum. Jaebum dragged his blunt nails down his sides and inner thighs, making Jinyoung shiver from the tickling sensation. Jaebum could feel Jinyoung’s body in his hands even now, when he was miles away, the memory vivid enough to make his fingers grip at the air where Jinyoung’s hips would be.

The whole make-out was a hot mess, Jinyoung riding Jaebum until they both came, pulling him up by the hair for a long and passionate kiss. A mess of hungry and desperate hands clawing for one another’s body after weeks of self-restraining, and Jaebum was delighted at the taste of no more caramel and stickiness on Jinyoung’s plushy, pouty lips, blooming in a healthy shade of pink, almost like a strawberry – Jaebum favorite.

A lot was on his shoulders. Most heavily, the memory of Jinyoung kissing the very wounds that turned Jaebum into an assassin, his tenderness like salvation over the pain bleeding from the cuts.

The assassin in him dead – at the hands of _love_ and _Jinyoung_ , the two words which had long molded into a synonym since.

With the words he thought he would never speak, he found himself whispering into the air aimlessly, “I will miss you, Jinyoung-ah.”

He let out a sour chuckle, laughing at his own pathetic demise. After all those years of _abuse_ , _starvation, fear_ , and _pain_ , it had to be _love_ that broke Jaebum apart.

Now, accepting his failure, he opened his hands, palms facing the sky, watching the canary fly away from in-between, alive and free at last.

 _‘Until we meet again_.’  


The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Jinyoung stated in an interview that he wanted to work with kindergarten children for a long time. If I remember correctly, he said that if he wasn’t part of GOT7, he would probably be doing that.


End file.
